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It appears the geniuses in Washington have decided the nation needs economic stimulus to keep us from falling into recession. While I don't agree, I do offer a version of stimulus that would actually work and provide long-term benefits to every taxpayer.

The current government version would spend $146 billion in the form of a $600 check to folks who will either pay down their credit cards or buy Chinese-made goods at the local Wal-Mart. This might have a modest, short-term impact but will do little to bolster long-term economic growth. Only a small amount of the money would stay in America, so we shouldn't waste anymore time even considering it.

To stimulate the economy, both in the short and long term, we must create jobs. These new employees would then buy homes, cars, food, etc. and the economy would start percolating this money into other jobs related to providing the goods and services purchased.

Therefore, I suggest we consider hiring 500,000 "Office of Deportation" employees tasked with the job of rounding up the 12,000,000 illegal aliens spread out across the country. Each one of the new employees would require a vehicle purchased from Ford or GM having an immediate impact on Detroit. The contract would require that the Ford or GM vehicles only be built in the U.S.

Then we would order 1,500,000 uniforms to dress these new employees. We could even give a job to John Edwards. Make him "secretary of the mills." This way each morning when John rises from bed he can fulfill what he says is on his mind the moment he wakes, ending poverty in the South.

These employees would then use gasoline, forms, radios, video cameras (to document the alleged abuses of the illegals) and a load of other stuff we could make in America as they round up the 12,000,000 illegals and send them back to wherever they came from.

New "holding" facilities could be built and staffed, adding new jobs to process the illegals. The employees would cook food bought from American farmers, and provide bedding and clothing made by the mill workers. The illegals could even watch American network TV while awaiting deportation. That would increase viewership so advertising rates would go up making the networks more money. This is a win-win for everyone in America.

The opportunities are endless. Bus drivers to haul them to the airport or train station for the final trip home. Pilots for the planes. Engineers for the trains. New roads for the increased one-way traffic.

And this is not the only benefit such a program would produce.

It would immediately stimulate the economy by putting people back to work, and it would also have a huge long-term benefit. Billions would be saved on health care in America, thus reducing the cost of care and insurance premiums.

We would save hundreds of millions on education while at the same time reducing classroom size and improving the quality of education for American children. This would equip children of American taxpayers to obtain better jobs as a result of higher education. We would have millions left over to pay for college tuitions. We could even get really novel and teach them how not to depend on the government for entitlements.

Think of the billions saved by California not having to feed, house and clothe millions of illegals. The savings in police protection alone at "Si se puede" rallies would be huge.

We could employee able-bodied Americans to build a fence from San Diego to Brownsville overnight. A fence that would stop forever the flow of future lawbreakers: more jobs, more growth and more economic stimulus.

I keep hearing there are too many people to deport everyone, and we need to respect the dignity of every human being. Should we respect a car thief? They are human beings. Would we take the same approach if we had 12 million car thieves in America? Would we allow cars to be stolen because it is just too many to stop? You and I both know the answer. Criminals, regardless of the crime, must be held accountable for their actions and prevented from further violations.

Under this stimulus program each new employee would have a specific quota of one illegal a month. In just two short years, everyone would have been returned home, and all would be well in America. It could be done if we had the will to get it done.

Oh I hear the cries coming from the libs as I write ... What about the children?

Simple. Parents who don't love their kids enough to obey the law are soon separated from their kids by the bars of a jail. If a parent does something to get them separated from their children in our criminal system, many times the child is taken away and put in foster care for his or her safety. I would argue any parent that would break the law and risk separating themselves from their children is guilty of child abuse. Child abandonment. I thought we punished child abusers in America.

This should make Hillary and Marian Wright Edelman beam with joy. Protecting kids is the reason they live. The children being put in foster care as a result of criminal behavior of the parents can be put up for adoption. Think of all the reductions of greenhouse gases. Angelina, Brad and Madonna won't have to fly their private jets to adopt kids in faraway lands. They can just jump in the Bentley and pick one up locally.

This plan would save money, employ thousands, create new industries and stop the theft of jobs in America from Americans. But, most important of all, it would allow us as a nation of laws to enforce our law. We could tell the Vicente Foxes, Jorge Bushs, Juan McCains and Juan Hernandezs of the world; we don't want illegals in America. Period!

So think about it. Consider the upside benefits and the limited downside risks, and then write your elected officials demanding that if they are going to pass a stimulus package you want real stimulus that will benefit America – not China, not credit card companies and surely not illegal aliens (who believe it or not under the proposed legislation would receive checks as well).

Unless, when they pick up the check, they are fitted with handcuffs made in the U.S.A., put in vans made in Detroit and driven by deportation employees dressed in American made uniforms.

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